-Mayah Taylor, MA
Have you ever been in a situation or maybe in a conversation where you overreacted? Have you ever reacted in the heat of the moment where you said something you later regretted? Ever responded to a text or email spilling your emotions in the present moment without thinking on the subject, and later asking yourself “Why did I send that?” Or maybe the opposite happens to you, where in situations you find yourself freezing or not able to speak up for yourself. When we don’t regulate and control our emotions often times we can create significant damage to the relationships or missed opportunities to speak up and be assertive of our wants and needs. If you struggle with getting in control with your emotions, continue reading this blog.
You Are in Control of Your Emotions
At our practice, we hear people make the statement, “I just can’t control my emotions”. This is a common mistake we make and a myth. You are always in control of your emotions, you may not yet understand how but you are. Know that just because you are angry in the present moment, does not mean you are stuck in that emotion nor do you have to stay stuck in that emotion. If you want to change the way you feel start by changing the way you think; and then change the way you act or respond.
Put a Face and a Name to that Emotion
If you are ever feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, take a moment to stop and evaluate which emotion(s) you are feeling. Acknowledging the emotion you are feeling and labeling it can help you determine what you need to do to move on. If you are angry, acknowledge that emotion, and then when you are ready to change it find solutions to move on from that emotion and help yourself calm down. Emotional awareness is key to being able to regulate and control your emotions.
Maintain Your Wellness
Many people don’t realize how much one’s physical health affects your emotional health. An important tip to being able to control your emotions are to focus on the biology. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. Additionally, remember to take time for yourself. Self-care is extremely important. When you maintain your physical health, this will impact your emotional world which in turn affects the other aspects of your life.
Mindfulness is the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment. A great way to gain control of your emotions is to slow yourself down through mindfulness. Mindfulness takes practice but can be very effective in challenging you to slow down and become an observer on your reaction to a certain situation, allowing you time to think, process your emotions and feelings, and help you be less likely to act impulsively on your emotions.
Once we become more aware of our negative emotions (and trace their steps backwards from the original trigger) then we can undeniably say our feelings are no longer the boss of us! We will have more control of our feelings which in turn produces more healthy outcomes. We will be living brave!
If you enjoyed this blog, please check out our blog: Two Simple Tips for Dismissing The Negative Self-Talk
As always, share your successes and struggles by posting on our various social media sites or by contacting us here!