-Mayah Taylor, MA

Loss can be painful. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, or the loss of pet. The loss can be so painful that sometimes we find ourselves getting stuck in that pain and are not able to move forward from that pain to continue living our lives. If you are experiencing a loss or have experienced a loss and are struggling to replace the pain, this blog is for you. In this blog we will show you how to replace pain with love and kindness.

Become Aware of Your Thoughts

Much of the varying emotions we feel stem from our thoughts and how we process a situation or event. It is important that we become aware of the kind of thoughts we have whether they be negative or positive. When we experience a loss that creates pain we tend to have negative thoughts and negative self talk that accompany that pain. These negative thoughts and self talk can then in turn lead us into a vicious cycle that ultimately creates more pain and prevent us from moving forward and healing ourselves. If we are not aware of our thoughts and replace the negative with positive, those thoughts can lead to feelings like frustration, anger, anxiety, fear, sadness, or depression. Those feelings can then lead to suffering which in turn creates stress and tension and increased pain. A helpful tip to coping with negative thoughts is each time a negative thought pops into your mind, practice replacing each negative thought with a positive one.

Have Compassion

The pain that comes from loss can be taxing. To help put yourself on the path to replacing that pain with love and kindness, you must show yourself compassion. Additionally be kind to yourself. Showing yourself kindness and loving yourself can allow you to then show others kindness and allow you to move past the pain, heal, and live a happier life. Showing yourself love and kindness in the time of pain can help you go onto replace any negative thinking you may be having and create much needed change against those negative thoughts and the pain itself.

Human Connection

A helpful way to replace your pain with love and kindness, is to not forget the power of human connection. During times of loss and resulting pain, we sometimes shut ourselves off from others and become withdrawn. For some, isolating ourselves is a way to protect ourselves from further pain and to guard our hearts. What we forget is that in shutting ourselves off from others, we can  lose the ability to be vulnerable and the ability to experience the joy that comes from relationships. After you have shown yourself compassion and self-love, a door will open up to then allow yourself to be vulnerable and open yourself up to others. Thus, you will begin to move on from the pain. Human connection will allow you to then share your pain and express your feelings to the people that care about you. You may find that connecting with others and having another person to confide in and share your pain with may help lift a much needed weight off your chest. Grieving is an important part of the process. And internalizing these feelings prolong this important process. Tell someone you trust!

Putting It All Together

Pain from loss is never easy to deal with. Being aware of your thoughts, showing yourself love and compassion, and remembering the importance of human connection are all ways to help you replace that pain with love and kindness. Additionally it can help you to be able to move forward from the pain into a more fulfilling and healthier life. We hope these tips help you through your own journey with pain. Let us know what has helped you by contacting us here! What are your successes and failures?