Life Cycles Counseling with Dr. Adina Silvestri

Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Why People Pleasing is Dangerous

Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Why People Pleasing is Dangerous

Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Why People Pleasing is Dangerous

Self Love, Self Acceptance, and Why People Pleasing is Dangerous


-Mayah Taylor, MA

Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Why People Pleasing is Dangerous

Are you struggling with achieving your happiness? Do you struggle with how you view yourself and feeling accepted? Do you always find yourself trying to please everyone and neglecting yourself? Want to change it? We can help! Today’s blog is focuses on self-acceptance, self -love, and how people pleasing can be dangerous. Being mindful of these 3 factors can help you achieve your own personal happiness and lead a healthy, fulfilling life.


Accept Yourself For Who You Are

You are not perfect. No one is. Understanding and being aware of your flaws and accepting those flaws and imperfections can stop you from being your own worst enemy. When we are unable to accept ourselves we place unfair burdens on ourselves to be perfect or to be something that we are not. By accepting yourself, you also accept your limitations and allow your self-esteem to improve. Being aware of who you are and accepting that, frees you to make improvements and change things that you want to change while still being true to yourself and who you are. When you accept yourself you will find that you are no longer comparing yourself to others, not worrying about what others think of you, and can begin to feel comfortable in your own skin.


Show Yourself Love

Acceptance is the first step. Once you accept yourself, you then can begin the journey to self-love.  Be kind to yourself. Remember to set time aside for you. Take care of yourself the same way you would take care of someone you love. Show yourself that same love, if not greater. Don’t neglect yourself, always take care of your needs and be aware of what your needs are. Self-love can help you mature into a person that knows what they want and what they need. It can also help you to choose a partner or mate that will lend additional support to your own well being. Self-love can also influence the decisions we make. The more self-love you have and give to yourself, the more likely you are to be better equipped in life and make positive decisions that can enhance your well- being.


The Dangerous Life of A People Pleaser

People pleasing can be exhausting. You may find that you give and you give and get nothing back in return. People pleasers come to see us at our office all the time. Some things we here those that are people pleasers say are: “I just can’t say no” or “I don’t want to be selfish” or “I don’t want to disappoint people.” When I hear the different scripts people pleasers tend to use when explaining why they try to please everyone, I’m always thinking about the fear. What is this person afraid of? At the root of people pleasing is fear. This could mean fear of rejection or fear of failure. Ultimately people pleasing if not addressed can have dangerous consequences. The most common danger is neglect. People pleasers tend to focus on everyone else but themselves. Doing so opens them up to unhealthy living, fatigue, stress, depression, resentment, anger, and health problems. Be aware of yourself and your needs. Understand that you cannot be everything to everyone. Understand that you are not perfect (neither is anyone else) and will not be able to please everyone. Don’t hold yourself prisoner trying to please others. Take a step back and focus on you. Think about who you are, what you need, your boundaries, and your limits. Then, begin to practice accepting yourself, loving yourself, and taking care of yourself.


Becoming mindful of these 3 factors will help you to overcome your people pleasing ways and will lead to a happier; more self confident you! As always, share your successes and struggles by posting on our various social media sites or by contacting us here!


If you enjoyed this post, please check out our blog: Three Blunders That Stop You From Having Meaningful Relationships.

Leave a Reply

Enjoy our site? Please spread the word :)