Life Cycles Counseling with Dr. Adina Silvestri

Spring Cleaning: 4 Signs That It’s Time to Break Up

Spring Cleaning: 4 Signs That It's Time to Break Up

Spring Cleaning: 4 Signs That It’s Time to Break Up

-Mayah Taylor, MA

 

Spring has sprung!! And with the new season comes the task of spring cleaning. Now I know you’re probably thinking about all the clothes in your closet that you don’t wear that needs to be donated. Or all the unused items in your home that probably should be given away because you’ll never use them. When I say spring cleaning, I’m not talking about your house. I’m talking about spring cleaning for your life. What better time to take a step back and reevaluate your life, most importantly the relationship you have with your significant other. If you have a significant other and you find yourself at a point where you are struggling in the relationship, this blog is for you. In every relationship there are always signs that present themselves to us to show us there are problems in the relationship and if we should break up with someone. Sometimes we miss the signs because we are not aware of them in the first place. Other times we are aware of the signs, we just ignore them because we are trying to hold onto something or someone when we should just let go. Today we go over the top 4 signs that it’s time to break up.

 

Do You Both Want the Same Things in Life?

 

This is an important sign to look out for. Notice that when you and your partner talk about the future and you begin to share each other’s vision for the future, the similarities and differences in each of your visions. It’s natural that you both will have differences. Look at the big ways that you are different and believe what your partner is saying about themselves. When you listen to your partner express their vision that may be different in some ways from yours, ask yourself, can you accept these differences? If you are thinking at any point that maybe you’ll persuade them to change, or somehow they’ll change that vision, then that could be a sign that the relationship may not survive. If you cannot accept the other person’s visions for the future or it’s not compatible with yours, the relationship may struggle and present roadblocks that may prevent happiness.

 

Are You Emotionally Connected?

 

Do you or your partner feel like you can open up to each other and express your concerns, interests, likes, dislikes, sexual desires, hopes, and dreams with ease. If you or your partner often shut down or shift the topic when you try to open the line of communication to emotional or intimate topics, this may be a sign that there is a disconnect in the emotional connection between you too. Granted it can be hard for some people to open up and share their darkest secrets or memories, but there should be a willingness and openness to share. Continue to be aware if you or your partner are consistently guarded with one another as that can lead to a significant disconnect both emotionally and with the communication between you two in general.

 

Are You Fighting Over Everything?

 

Disagreements are common in any relationship. Some couples disagree more than others. However; if the disagreements are to the point where you are starting to pick fights over the smallest, insignificant things, its a sign to a much bigger problem. For example if you fight over things like who left the cap off the toothpaste which in turn leads to a big blow out argument, it’ not the toothpaste that’s the real problem.

 

Has Your Love Life in the Bedroom Disappeared?

 

Sex is a key factor in the relationship. Think back to the spark and the fire that drew you both together. Is it still there? Have you noticed that you’re having sex or becoming intimate far less than before. Do you or your partner make up excuses to not have sex like, “I’m so tired” or “It’s been a long day, can we do this some other time?” On the other hand we have seen clients that intentionally stay at work late and then come home in the wee hours of the morning just to avoid sex all together. It’s normal and natural for things to cool off a little bit from when you first got together; however if your sex life has diminished significantly or is totally nonexistent, that is a sign that there is trouble in the relationship. A healthy sex life is a strong indicator that something may be wrong in your relationship.

 

The Takeaway

 

The more you invest in a relationship, the more it shapes your choices and ultimately your life. When you have so much invested, it is hard to say goodbye. But it is better than sacrificing your mental and emotional well-being. Know that when you take care of yourself, you are putting yourself in the best possible position to live a happy life.

 

If you need help navigating this scary terrain, we are here to support you! Please contact us here. Cheers to a happier, healthier you!

 

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