(Disclaimer: This transcript is using AI technology. Please excuse any errors.)
Welcome to this special Writing Bravely podcast series where we write our way through to the other side. I'm your host, Dr. Adina Silvestri join me here and at writingbravely.com to talk about how a creative act like writing can move us through the healing process.
Adina Silvestri 0:24
Hola and welcome to episode three of the writing bravely series. And today, we're talking all about masks, the top three masks that we wear and why we should think about taking them off. So a quote that I found that I think goes perfectly with this episode. And I've definitely used this a lot is man is least himself when he talks in his own persona, give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. So when thinking about masks, they do more harm than good. I feel some people would probably argue with that and say, Well, no, I'm more myself when the mask is on. Just like the quote, and I get that. I completely understand that. But the masks that we wear are generally because we're afraid. We're afraid that if anyone sees how incompetent we are at our job, our relationships, our parenting, and anything we feel as part of our identity, the costs will be too great. So let's take a peek at the top three masks that we wear. The first one is the social mask. And these are masks that we wear because of a negative message that we received a long ago, maybe in childhood. And now we face the world as if that message were true. Maybe we are the intellect of the friend group, or the Mother Teresa, people pleaser type. And we've kept that going for years for some even decades. And it's difficult to ignore acknowledge that this is not really you. Maybe it's easier to acknowledge it to yourself, you know, this is just a part of you, this is not the entirety of you. But then we don't want to face others in letting them know that this really isn't us. Probably for the guilt, or the shame. So that's number one. And number two is the emotional mask. This is the mask that we wear, to hide our emotions. We hide behind the fear, or the anger, the shame. And this is a tough one. And just to be clear, I feel like all of us wear these masks from time to time. And I'm not saying that, you know, if you do this, there's something wrong with you. That's not what I'm saying. I just want us to be aware of these masks, and how they affect us in our identity. And so the emotional mask is a tough one I feel like especially for those who maybe aren't as great at acknowledging their feelings or don't have quite the language or maybe are disconnected from their feelings. You know, anger is usually the first one that comes out. I mean, it's it's the one that is the most destructive and it's also probably the one that's most socially acceptable, especially for the men. And it takes courage takes courage to let this mask slip. And if you're used to wearing this mask, we're used to having walls built up. Sometimes it's just taking the wall down one brick at a time. Three is the Who am I mask when we burn our lives to the ground and we don't yet know how to be in the world. We sometimes trying different masks to see what feels right. Maybe we are the people pleaser one day and we are the fierce fighter the
next day. And we just try on different masks to see what feels right. And it's also hard, especially for those that are in recovery. And when I say in recover, I can mean in recovery from anything. To not have the mask on, to not have that sort of barrier where you spent all your time seeking that substance, being with that substance being with people that also like that substance, or drug, or fill in the blank. That's really difficult, because when that's gone, you're really starting from the bottom up, really starting to figure out who am I without this thing, even with narcissistic relationships. If you were married to a narcissist, or someone that had narcissistic traits that could also be really difficult? Who am I without this person, you know, I did everything for him or her. And I lost myself in the process. I would definitely refer to episode two, if that's the case, and utilize the prompts there. This is one way to identify a real persona, the person we were always meant to be kept hidden away from the world and maybe even ourselves. So as you begin to understand your destructive impulses, you start to see that every part of you, the good and the bad has a story to tell, maybe the bad has more of a story to tell, then the good. The figuring out which masks you were acknowledging it, being okay with it. And then figuring out the story, the story that it has to tell, and you could use writing to help with this. I'm probably gonna say you could use writing to help with everything in the series. But it's only because I think it's, it's easy, and it's accessible. And anyone can do it. Think about the masks that you wear and commit to letting them slip off now and again. Really hold your gifts out to the world. And I'm going to end with a writing prompt. I love this writing prompt. I've actually used it a lot. In my men's group. It's great for women who are whatever gender you identify with. It's just a great prompt. So grab a pen. The prompt is what is the dialogue between the part of you that fears the worst, and the part of you that dreams about more. If we don't let the fear get in the way or if we eliminate that from the equation. It's amazing some of the things that we come up with how we're able to dream so much bigger. So that's it guys. Head over to writing bravely.com to dialogue with these parts dialog with a part of you that fears the worst and the part of you that dreams about more in dialogue with me. I think that would be amazing. So you can go to to reading writingbravely.com and schedule a call with me and the writing group. This first beta writing group starts June 27. Thanks, guys. Bye.
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“Man is least himself when he talks in his own persona. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”Oliver Wilde
In today’s episode, I talk about the masks that do more harm than good. The masks we wear because we are afraid; we are afraid that it anyone see’s how incompetent we are at our job, relationships, parenting, at anything we feel is part of our identity, the costs will be too great.
WHAT WE’LL LEARN
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